


Never Means Never

by Calmed_By_Chaos



Category: Monsta X (Band), No.MERCY (TV)
Genre: Angst, Changkyun is squishy and oblivious, Drunken Kissing, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Idols, Jooheon is too gullible, M/M, Minhyuk is bad at feelings, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-12
Updated: 2019-04-12
Packaged: 2020-01-12 04:19:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18438899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Calmed_By_Chaos/pseuds/Calmed_By_Chaos
Summary: When Changkyun joined No.Mercy Lee Minhyuk promised himself that they'd never be friends.Minhyuk likes keeping his promises. Unfortunately he also likes the damned Maknae far more than he should.Or:Changkyun slowly wins over his Hyungs, but Minhyuk would rather be anything but his friend.





	Never Means Never

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic and I'm not sure how to post without ruining my format. I apologize for any uploading or format errors!

 

 

 

    A year ago, Minhyuk took one look at Im Changkyun and knew with absolute certainty that they could never be friends.

    To his credit, this decision wasn’t solely based on misguided loyalty or petty resentments. Minhyuk also never bought into any of the malicious rumors that began circulating after the other’s unexpected- and very unwelcome- arrival.

    He’d heard the farfetched theories of nefarious backdoor deals that no one with an ounce of common sense could possibly believe the naïve teenager who had foolishly wandered into No Mercy wearing an oversized jacket (that only served to make him look even smaller and more out of place) was capable of orchestrating. He’d even been repeatedly entertained during lunch by random trainees sharing accusations of bribery that would have been laughable if they weren’t so persistent and even the occasional whispered speculations about personal “favors” being provided in exchange for a guaranteed debut.

    It was all just bullshit as far as Minhyuk was concerned.

    Sure, it was occasionally amusing bullshit. He had laughed until his sides hurt when Jooheon nervously warned him to be more wary of upsetting Changkyun since the other had apparently developed deep ties to the Irish Mob while he lived in Boston.  Ties so deep that when he decided to break into the music industry, he’d ordered his criminal associates to threaten CEO Kim Shidae until the terrified man agreed to guarantee him a spot in the final line up.

    “They made him an offer he couldn’t refuse” Jooheon told him quietly, his expression so serious that no matter how much Minhyuk wanted to keep a straight face to play along and tease the younger a bit he couldn’t do it. The whole thing was just too ridiculous.

    “That’s a line from The Godfather, you Idiot!” he choked, struggling to hold back another fit of laughter as he wiped tears from his eyes. “Changkyun would have been like 12 years old when he lived in America. How in the hell did a 12-year-old Korean kid get in with the Irish Mob? And why make him compete in a survival show or join a pop group? Wouldn’t it be easier just to let him debut as a solo artist? I mean, maybe they do things differently in America, but now I have so many questions!”.

   The blush that had slowly begun blooming on Jooheon’s cheeks after Minhyuk’s initial breakdown spread all the way up to the tips of his ears as his relentless Hyung struggled to regain his composure. Honestly, it had all sounded much less ridiculous when Hyungwon shared the story with him the night before.

_** The lanky vocalist turned over in his bunk as soon as Changkyun slipped out of their shared dorm room to take a shower. He’d called out to Jooheon nervously in the darkness, repeatedly inquiring if he was still awake until the redheaded rapper finally woke up enough to answer._

_“What’s wrong, Hyung?”._

_Hyungwon hesitated as if slowly gathering his courage together._

_“Jooheon… I’m scared.”_

_The unexpected confession immediately captured the smaller man’s attention and he pressed his Hyung to confide in him. It had taken him a few minutes for Hyungwon to open up, but he eventually explained how he’d overheard the producers discussing I.M.’s nefarious underworld connections and haltingly shared just how worried he was about everyone’s safety._

_“Especially yours, Jooheon.”_

_“What? Why mine?” the dimpled rapper demanded, the question sounding overly strained even to his own ears._

_“You took the bottom bunk. You didn’t even ask, you just took it.”_

_“Yeah, but… so what? I’m older. Why wouldn’t I get the bottom bunk?”_

_“And you took up the entire second closet.”_

_“I have more clothes, Hyung! He only brought one little suitcase and said he didn’t mind!”_

_“You ate his breakfast.”_

_“I thought he was done! He got up and left the table without a word! How was I supposed to know he was only going to get his phone?”_

_The sound of weary feet padding down the hall quickly silenced whatever additional injustices Hyungwon had observed Jooheon commit against the maknae, the hall light briefly illuminating the source of their mutual concern before he closed the door behind him with a soft click and carefully made his way to his bunk._

_Feigning sleep, Jooheon felt his blood run cold as the dark-haired rapper released a heavy sigh as he climbed up to his bunk, cursing soft to avoid waking his roommates when he accidentally banged his knee on the hard wood railing._

_Across the room Hyungwon suddenly coughed but managed to quickly bite back the sound. He rolled back toward the wall while Jooheon laid awake in the darkness, his eyes struggling to adjust enough to make out the mattress above him._

_He could hear Changkyun’s breath even out as he fell into a deeper sleep, the sound of the toilet flushing down the hall, his own heartbeat thundering in his ears, the low hum of the TV in the main room…_

_“Jooheon?”_

_Heart stuttering, Jooheon’s drooping eyelids shot wide open as Hyungwon tempted bloody fate by quietly calling his name._

_“Jooheonie?”_

_“What is it, Hyung?” he hissed, barely remembering how to breath long enough to reply._

_“Jooheon, hwaiting!”_

_Unexpected encouragement hanging in the air between them, another cough seeming to catch in Hyungwon’s throat and he burrowed further into his mattress, the blanket covering his head effectively shutting out both the thin sliver of light bleeding in beneath the door and the terrified rapper still staring at the mattress above him.**_

Minhyuk couldn’t help it. He started laughing again, not even bothering to try and control himself this time.

“Oh my God!” he squealed, holding his stomach as he rolled back and forth on Jooheon’s bed, fresh peals of mirth erupting each time he looked up at the offending Top Bunk of Doom. “You couldn’t tell that Hyungwon was just messing with you? Again?  Remember the time he convinced you that Kihyun was a girl?”

“Hyung!” Jooheon snapped, the light pink blush he’d already been displaying darkening into a deep shame filled red. “You promised not to bring that up anymore!”

Ignoring him, as expected, Minhyuk held up a pillow to block the flying snapbacks Jooheon kept snatching off the dresser to throw at his head. “He told you Kihyun’s voice was too deep for girl groups, so he was pretending to be a guy in order to debut anyway like that drama we had JUST watched?”

“Ya, Hyung! You can’t tell me you never wondered if-“

“So you kept trying to catch him totally naked to prove he wasn’t just a really flat-chested girl-“

“Shut up, Minhyuk!”

“A-and Hyunwoo thought you were t-t-trying to sexually harass him and-“

“Ok! I get it! Hyungwon-Hyung is a jerk and I’m stupid for listening to him!”

Leaving the giggling blond to gloat alone on the bed Jooheon stomped out of the room, only pausing in the doorway long enough to mutter something that sounded suspiciously like “I hate all my Hyungs. All of you. So damned glad there’s finally going to be a new Maknae!” before closing the door with a resounding slam that had Kihyun yelling threats from the kitchen.

 

 

 

    

   Jooheon was the first to truly accept Changkyun.  Once he’d been assured that he was in no danger from the Mob he began opening up to his unexpected dongsaeng during vocal and songwriting sessions, the two of them connecting through their shared love of music even after Gunhee was eliminated.

   The other members had to admit they’d all been surprised by Jooheon’s continued acceptance even after they watched his tender heart shatter on stage. The dimpled smile they all loved disappearing for weeks after the new Maknae thoughtlessly stole the spot his best friend had worked years to secure. The redhead’s pain broadcast out for the entertainment of millions, his tears reduced to nothing but promo clips to drag in more viewers and boost overall ratings for the finale.

   But somehow Jooheon had been able to move past that devastating moment. He hadn’t simply opened his arms and welcomed Changkyun into his heart right away and they didn’t become best friends overnight, but he left the door open. He didn’t set out to ignore him the way Hyunwoo and Kihyun had at first. He didn’t pick at him the way Minhyuk, Hyungwon, and Hoseok sometimes did, spitefully pointing out every flaw and turning every small mistake into an excuse to remind the quiet boy with the sad eyes just how much better the friends they’d lost would have done in his place.

   Slowly Changkyun became synonymous with Jooheon and Jooheon with Changkyun. They laughed together, gamed together, and worked together with a fluidity even their managers hadn’t expected.

   When Jooheon became lost his thoughts, the concepts in his mind smothering the words he needed to express them, Changkyun could simply listen to his ramblings and instantly clear the tangle of ideas. All it usually took from the shy newcomer were a few words of support or the completion of a lyric Jooheon hadn’t even realized was unfinished.

 

_“I can’t make this flow.”_

_“What do you want to say?” Changkyun asked without looking up from his phone. He was leaned up comfortably against Jooheon while the other repeatedly scribbled one combination of words after another into a yellow notebook before just as quickly scratching through them again in frustration._

_“It’s like our time is up and I don’t want her to leave. I need this to rhyme here, but I don’t want to make it rhyme just because it needs to rhyme, you know? It needs to mean something. I can make it work if I add in “I need you” in jondaemal, but I don’t want to overuse it because we’re supposed to be close, you know?”_

_Sitting as far from the pair as possible on the old sectional, Minhyuk pretended to be paying attention to the crime drama he was watching with Hyunwoo rather than their conversation. He was having a hard time suppressing a scoff every time Jooheon said “You know?” because… no. He didn’t know. No one could possibly decipher the confused descriptions of what amounted to the nothing that he was trying to make sense of._

_The blond vocalist couldn’t help smirking as Changkyun nodded his head in understanding but remained quiet, but the smirk quickly morphed into surprise as the smaller man lazily raised his head from Jooheon’s shoulder and said “Use English.”_

_Jooheon frowned. “I don’t want a big block of English in this section.”_

_“Not a block, just two words. Sigani-eobsoyo (no time) works with the English for kajima ‘Don’t go’.”_

_Biting his lip, Jooheon considered the suggestion and began scribbling into his notebook again…. Only this time the line wasn’t immediately discarded._

_A relieved smile bringing out his dimples, he reached over and affectionally ruffled the Maknae’s hair. “I knew there was a reason I kept you around.”_

_“You only keep me around so you don’t have to be the maknae, Hyung.”_

_The teasing way Changkyun dragged out ‘Hyung’ had Jooheon laughing and ruffling his hair again, ignoring his only dongsaeng's protests and half-hearted attempts to stop what he had deemed to be child abuse._

_Minhyuk rolled his eyes, but any snarky comment he’d been prepared to throw at the rap duo was cut off as Hyunwoo’s deep chuckle rang out, the sound rare but warm and infectious. Broad shoulders shaking slightly, he smiled at the squirming man fighting to escape Jooheon’s grasp._

_“He’s right. Stop abusing the child, Jooheon.”_

_“Hyung!!” Changkyun whined cutely, looking utterly betrayed by their leader. “I’m not a child!”_

_“You’re the one who said it.” Hyunwoo reminded him, reaching out an arm to catch his foot so he couldn’t kick out at Jooheon who had decided to escalate his abuse to tickling. The smirking lead rapper immediately went for a weak spot behind Changkyun’s knee that had him squealing and begging for a mercy neither Hyungs had any interest in granting._

_Minhyuk watched the happy scene quietly, a small smile briefly fighting its way onto his lips before he forced it back and determinedly returned his attention to the television._

 

 

  They fell like dominoes for the little maknae after that. His small size bringing out a protectiveness that most of them didn’t even realize they had, his innocently mischievous smile warming their hearts and gradually turning any lingering resentment and pettiness into acceptance and affection.

   Eyes that had once watched the nervous boy who entered No Mercy at the worst possible time with suspicion and thinly veiled disdain now gazed at him with open affection and even pride.

    Changkyun was theirs now and they loved him as a bandmate, a friend, a brother, and- based on the longing glances Minhyuk had noticed Hoseok sending their youngest whenever he thought no one was looking- perhaps for some of them that love had begun to deepen in ways they weren’t ready to admit.

 

    Minhyuk had felt the change coming for weeks. Months even. It reminded him of the way the atmosphere changed as a calm summer sky slowly transformed into a raging storm. Light giving way to darkness, distant rumblings disturbing the previously silent sky, currents of electricity and the steadily building pressure just waiting for a catalyst…

    Monsta X’s catalyst came as they made their way backstage after a Music Core performance.

    They’d been promoting Hero non-stop for the last two weeks, rushing to radio and TV appearances between flights and hotel check-ins that amounted to little more than an opportunity to shower and change clothes since sleeping took up more time than any of them could really afford to lose.

   Dark circles were an accessory they all carried from one appearance to another, exhaustion a constant companion, but the excitement of finally debuting kept them going. The thrill of hearing ‘Trespass’ come on while they waited in line for coffee at the little café across the street from their dorm. The intoxicating momentum that seemed to surround them as Monsta X steadily grew it’s fanbase and began to attract more and more loyal Monbebes from around the world.

  Idol life was hard but Monsta X was more than ready to pay their dues. Because it was worth it. No matter how insane their schedule became as soon as they walked on stage the world stopped spinning, that beautiful moment when the lights came up and the music- _their music_ \- began to pulse through the venue, the lyrics they’d written echoing back to them through the voices of thousands of fans…

The exhaustion disappeared and suddenly the entire world was put back into perspective. The adrenaline drop in the aftermath of a show could be a real bitch though.

   Still, Minhyuk couldn’t help noticing how the circles under Changkyun’s eyes seemed darker than usual tonight. The harsh fluorescent lights lining the hallways were never flattering, but the maknae looked more than washed out. He was was ghostly pale.

   His skin looked clammy even through the heavy foundation their frustrated make-up artists had applied before their performance, and while his stage costume was supposed to be skin tight (To be fair, all their costumes were. The company was pushing for sexier concepts to help promote the new album, especially considering the kind of physiques Shownu and Wonho possessed.) it had somehow become too big on him since their last fitting.

  Changkyun had always been small- even smaller than Kihyun, much to that Hyung’s delight- but lately he seemed almost fragile.

  His personality was big enough that it was easy to forget just how _delicate_ the brown-haired man was. Soulful brown eyes that somehow managed to maintain an odd balance between far too mature for his age and achingly innocent, small doll-like features, and feathery hair that was forever falling over his eyes and making him appear endearingly young.

Changkyun began to sway as he wearily made his way toward the dressing room they’d been assigned and Minhyuk found himself nervously glancing back to alert Jooheon, but the older rapper had apparently disappeared with Hyunwoo. He considered calling out to the Maknae to ask if he was alright but couldn’t seem to form the words, instead hurrying his steps to catch up with the younger just in case…

  He was less than five feet away when Changkyun suddenly stumbled, his hand reaching out for the wall in vain as his legs gave out.

“Changkyun!”

  Minhyuk felt his heart stop, everything simultaneously happening in slow motion and far too fast for him do anything but watch as a pair of strong arms caught the unconscious rapper just before he hit the ground.

“What the fuck, Kyun?!”

   Hoseok continued to swear even as he lifted Changkyun bridal style with one arm looped under the boy’s knees, the other pressed firmly against his back.

    The muscular vocalist’s own dark honey-colored hair had fallen into his eyes but since he had no free hands left to push it out of the way he tried to solve the problem by violently jerking his head to the side. Unfortunately, that only served to disturb Changkyun and Hoseok felt his chest became uncomfortably tight as a pitiful whimper escaped the maknae’s bloodless lips.

“Shh, Kkukkungie.” He soothed, his hand rubbing what he hoped were soothing circles between the boy’s shoulder blades. “It’s okay. I’ve got you. You’re going to be okay.”

   Minhyuk’s eyes were bright with unshed tears as ran to catch up to the pair. His determined Hyung’s stride never slowed despite the additional weight he carried and the blond visual found himself forced to jog beside them in order to keep up.

     He reached out to grasp their exhausted maknae’s hand but was immediately torn between hurt and anger as Hoseok reflexively turned his body away just enough to prevent Minhyuk from connecting with the boy in his arms.

   “I’ve got him.” The older man muttered gruffly, slightly embarrassed by his own actions. His arms tightened possessively around Changkyun to pull him more firmly against his chest, the exhausted rapper’s head cradled against his shoulder. “Just go get the door.”

Eyes narrowing dangerously, Minhyuk immediately pulled his hand back as if burned and hurried to open the dressing room’s door

  Hyungwon and Kihyun instantly sprang to their feet when Hoseok stepped into the room with their unconscious maknae.

“What happened?” Kihyun demanded, his face grim as he moved Jooheon’s backpack to make room for Wonho and Changkyun on the plastic loveseat in the corner.

   “He’s been pushing himself too hard again.” Hoseok grumbled, settling into the uncomfortable chair with Changkyun on his lap. Any bite he’d tried to put in the words was completely lost as their youngest member buried his face further into his Hyung’s neck, the latter pausing his explanation just long enough to place a quick kiss to the top of his head before continuing. “We were coming back when he started swerving all over the place and just passed out.”

“Shit.” Hyunwon muttered. “Not again.”

    The kid had a bad habit of ignoring his health until things simply got too bad to keep ignoring. Considering how easygoing and obedient Changkyun was about most things, it was almost felt like his refusal to take care of himself was some form of misguided teenage rebellion. And while Hyunwon was normally fine with letting Changkyun do whatever he wanted, he’d grown far too fond of the little weirdo to just sit back and watch him hurt himself.

“I don’t know why he always does this.” Kihyun lamented, equal parts worry and frustration evident in his voice. “He needs to stop pretending he’s always fine and just tell us when he needs help. We’re all his friends, he should start relying on us more.”

Minhyuk shook his head as he watched Kihyun and Hyunwon leave the dressing room in search of ice for a cold pack.  

They were wrong. Minhyuk wasn’t Changkyun’s friend and had no intention of ever becoming one in the future. He’d tried, truly he had. He’d wanted to learn how to accept the other as a friend and develop the same kind of brotherly affection for him that most of the others had...  but no matter how much he wanted to be the bigger man when it came to Changkyun he just didn’t have it in him.

 

 

 

   It was a celebration so Minhyuk was celebrating.

   They’d won. Monsta X had finally won. After two years of disappointment despite constantly striving to be better and pushing themselves harder than even they thought possible they’d won.

    They also cried in front of the entire world, fell on their knees in thanks, and hugged each other until they couldn’t breathe, but Minhyuk figured it’d be better to just focus on the party and enjoy this moment for as long as he could.

    Managers, producers, and crew members crowded into the studio. The food was long gone but somehow no matter how much the crowd drank more alcohol would appear on the questionable folding table by the door. Not that he was complaining. Alcohol was full of empty calories. It was bad for his diet, would leave him with a terrible headache, and would mess up his rhythm during dance practice…. but it was rare that they could drink and not only were his managers handing out refills every time he walked by, they were encouraging the members of Monsta X to enjoy themselves to the best of their ability.

   As the official “mood maker” of the group, Minhyuk’s ability to enjoy himself was honestly pretty damned impressive if he did say so himself.

 

   The night wore on and his members began to drop like flies. First Jooheon (the fact that he made it through half a bottle of soju before throwing up, whining about his stomach, and finally leaving to take a nap in the soundproof recording room must be a record for him.), then Shownu had decided to call it a night and head back to the dorm to sleep because, well, he’s Shownu. Kihyun followed soon after because, once again… Kihyun.

   Wonho and Hyungwon were passed out on the floor of the studio, the two of them propped up against the wall by a couple kind crewmembers and leaned against each other’s shoulders to keep them upright.

  Minhyuk realized that the only one he couldn’t account for was Changkyun, and he found himself frowning as he scanned the room for the shorter man. If he were sober, he’d probably wonder why he even cared so much. But he wasn’t sober, so he found himself stepping out of the studio and wobbling down the hall on unsteady legs and opening random doors in hopes of locating his errant maknae.

 

   He eventually found him in the bathroom, which was probably the first place he should have checked all things considered but he just hadn’t thought of it at the time.

  Changkyun was standing at the sink- to be more accurate it was more like he was glaring at the sink- and waving his hands around under the tap.

“Kyunnie!!!” Minhyuk yelled, arms circling Changkyun’s waist as he pulled him into a tight back hug, a joyful smile brightening his handsome face. “Watcha doing?”

“There’s no water, Hyung.” The smaller man grumbled, and Minhyuk noticed that there was an excessive amount of liquid soap drying on his hands. “Why isn’t there any water?”

   The younger’s voice came out as a heartbroken whine and Minhyuk couldn’t help but laugh as he tightened his arms around the maknae and pressed a fond kiss to the back of his neck.

“You have to turn the tap, Brat.”

“What?” the confusion in Changkyun’s eyes only increased the ridiculous amount of inebriated cuteness and Minhyuk pressed another kiss against his skin, this time targeting the side of the other man’s sharp little jaw.

  “These sinks don’t have sensors on them. You’re thinking of the ones on the first floor. You have to turn these ones on.” The blond turned on the tap for the cold water in order to help Changkyun understand, giggling at the look of appreciation and amazement that he received in return.

   Adding enough hot water to get the job done Minhyuk took Changkyun’s hands in his and held them under the tap until the water finally stopped bubbling. “See, all done!”

   Grateful, Changkyun turned in his arms until he could hug him back, his deep voice sending a shiver down Minhyuk’s spine as the other's breath met his ear. “Thanks, Hyung. You’re a good friend. The best.”

_‘Friend’_

   The word broke through the happy bubble Minhyuk had erected around himself. The one that protected him from breaking whenever Hoseok nonchalantly pulled their maknae into his lap at the dorm, his muscular frame dwarfing the other’s as he nuzzled his nose into his neck and whispered things that had the shy rapper blushing furiously and scrambling to remove himself from his chuckling boyfriend’s clutches.

   Minhyuk’s bubble protected him when Changkyun stumbled into the kitchen looking for water at 4 in the morning. He’d flash the older a soft smile and rub at sleepy puppy eyes as he pulled a bottle from the fridge, either unaware or uncaring that the love bites Hoseok had left scattered around his neck and shoulders were on full display. The bubble provided him just enough distance to roll his eyes and wordlessly shoulder past the other without falling apart the moment he made it back to his room.

  The maknae had driven him crazy since the moment he’d laid eyes on him. Those damned sad eyes that seemed to see right through everyone in the room, stripping them bare and leaving them helpless against his innocent scrutiny. The quiet confidence he exuded when he performed such a stark contrast to the nervous and self-depreciating young man he’d turn back into the moment he stepped off the stage. He was pure and tainted, kind but occasionally surprisingly cruel, vulnerable but fiercely protective.

 

    But above all else, he was the only thing Minhyuk had ever truly wanted and the one thing he knew he could never have.

 

 So, the last thing he wanted to be was Im Changkyun’s fucking _friend…_

 

      Changkyun tensed as Minhyuk’s lips crashed into his but was either too confused or too drunk to resist at first. He stayed still, his mind struggling to make sense of what was happening. To understand where everything had gone so wrong.

      Eventually some measure of sanity must have made it through the haze in his mind because he abruptly tried to pull away. The blond immediately countered, pressing his hips into the brunet’s to push him back and using his body weight to pin the other against the sink.

    Slender fingers tangled in soft brown hair, gentle at first and then pulling hard enough to make the maknae gasp, the momentary distraction granting his hyung’s tongue the access needed to deepen the kiss into something that left them both breathless and lightheaded…

And then it was over just as suddenly as it had begun.

Minhyuk stepped back from him. The warm and playful Hyung from a few minutes ago gone, replaced with the cold and disdainful Hyung Changkyun had long become accustomed to.

   He held the younger’s gaze as he wiped his mouth with the sleeve of his white sweater but offered no explanation as to what had just transpired between them.

“Hyung,” Changkyun began hesitantly, desperate to break the heavy silence. “I don’t understand. Why do you hate me so much? I thought after all this time we could finally be friends.”

“You thought wrong.” Minhyuk told him, steadfastly refusing to acknowledge the tears forming in the other’s eyes. There was no way he could make his innocent maknae understand something he couldn’t even begin to understand himself. Still, he knew the other deserved to know the truth.

 “If there’s one thing you and I can never be, Changkyun, it's friends."


End file.
